September 13, 2023: Two seat neighbors and the vaginal suppository

September 13, 2023. As I sat drinking coffee in HanoMacke this morning, I received a message from Anna. She said she didn't have time this week but would like to schedule a meeting for next week. After agreeing via voicemail, I headed to the library. My usual spot was taken, so I sat a few tables away next to a pretty redhead. She wore a white T-shirt with the inscription "Dürüm." Her round glasses and laptop adorned with a peace dove sticker and an illegible sticker about homophobia hinted that she was likely a left-wing feminist. A small universe decorated her water bottle, and on the table lay a lilac lipstick, a red checkered notebook, and some printed papers. Two colorful bracelets with small beads adorned her hand.

Shortly afterward, a brunette student in a striped shirt joined us. She sat in the middle of the table facing the window, and as I glanced at her briefly, she noticed and greeted me with a smile and a "hello." She took out her laptop, which had a Leinewelle sticker and an Abifestival sticker. The two seemed to know each other well.

Between the three of us, I felt a certain sexual attraction, especially between me and the brunette, after she asked her friend about vaginal suppositories. Around half past eleven, I went to the cafeteria. It was raining heavily. My lunch consisted of a vegan Ebly pan and a farmer's salad. In the cafeteria, I also noticed the brunette superstar girl who had given me butterflies before. She was with another guy. When I returned, another guy was sitting at the table. Obviously, the girls had been discussing reproduction, as there was a book on the redhead's table titled "Psychology and Pathology of Reproduction." "Maybe they were medical students," I thought.

At half past four, I took a break in HanoMacke, as the redhead also seemed to be heading outside rather than to the restroom. Her laptop was closed, and indeed, when I followed her a short time later, I found her outside the library entrance. However, I didn't have the courage to approach her as she was talking to another student. I walked past her, entered HanoMacke, and patiently queued in a long line. Looking around, I noticed her later joining two guys and sitting with them at a table. After drinking my filtered coffee, I sat on a tree bench in front of HanoMacke. It was drizzling lightly, and the air was cold. Inside, all the students had gathered. In my solitary Russian squat, I felt the cold drizzle on my face.

When I returned to the library, I heard faint music. Shortly afterward, the brunette packed up and left the room. Only one student remained at the table, but she too disappeared shortly after. Eventually, the redhead returned. Now we were alone at the table. Somehow, I imagined she was showing interest but seemed a bit shy. Her hair and freckles, her seemingly left-feminist stance reminded me of Mara. Thoughtfully, I looked at her fingers with short nails.

"Should I approach her now?" flashed through my mind. I was unsure because she didn't give me clear signals. I wanted her to look at me longer so I could be sure she was interested but just shy. But she kept looking past me or out the window. It was difficult for me to interpret her behavior. But then it happened. As she stood up and began to pack her things into her basket, I looked up at her. Finally, she looked at me and smiled.

I stood up, and before she had a chance to disappear between the bookshelves, I caught up with her and whispered, "Hey, wait!" Now we looked at each other for longer.

"I've been trying to give you signals the whole time. You smiled so beautifully at me earlier. Would you like to go out with me?"

"That's so sweet of you. But I have a boyfriend."

"Hmm. Okay. Too bad!" I said and returned to the table.

Surprisingly, I wasn't sad but happy. I was proud to have had the courage to approach a pretty student, and that in the library where everyone could see. I looked around. People at the other tables were looking at me, but I didn't care. I didn't feel embarrassed at all.

At around six o'clock, I packed up and left the library. "Let's see what happens today," I thought. But nothing happened.