The unredeemed birthday present
June 14, 2022: Today, a Tuesday, I was in an exuberant mood all morning because I was going to Mara's again in the evening.
When I got to her house, she opened the door for me and when I saw her sweet smile, I felt my heart warm and I was excited.
"I've missed you so much," she greeted me with a warm hug.
"I've missed you too, Mouse," I replied, hugging her even tighter.
After a few intimate moments of cuddling, Mara made me a delicious cup of coffee while she treated herself to a herbal tea.
"Surprise! I defrosted the mole cake for you that I had frozen from my birthday. You really wanted to try it," she told me happily as she poured the tea.
"That's so sweet of you," I beamed with joy, as the mole cake was one of my absolute favorites among the cakes.
"And I'm sorry I didn't invite you to my birthday. It was a small celebration with just my girls."
"No problem, really. I was really happy that you sent me photos of your birthday and it was really nice to see you happy," I assured her and gave her a soft kiss on the temple as she poured my coffee.
With the coffee in one hand and the delicious-looking cake in the other, we made ourselves comfortable on the sofa in the living room. Today, the movie Mara had always wanted to see was on the program: The Reader.
This was the first movie where we focused more on the content than the cuddling. The movie is about a teenager named Michael who develops a love affair with an older woman named Hanna. Every time he visits her, he reads to her and has his first sexual experience.
"By the way, Mara, Jule is coming this Friday," I said at the end of the movie, feeling a slight sadness as I still didn't know what would happen next.
"Oh, so the day has come. Have you asked her about a polyamorous relationship yet?" she asked in a slightly disappointed voice.
"Yes, I've spoken to her, but she can't imagine it. For now at least, she wants things to stay the way they are now. I'm allowed to meet you and she wants to keep in touch with Shinshu," I told her about my last phone call with Jule.
"I have to admit that I'm a little jealous. You've told me a lot about Jule, and she seems like the kind of person I could get on well with. But when I think about you being in bed with another woman... I don't know if our relationship would be good for me then. Would it be okay for you if I had contact with other men too?" Mara said, staring thoughtfully through the window where the clouds shimmered in the moonlight.
"I completely understand your feelings. It also feels strange to wake up next to Jule again and not next to you," I confessed. "And of course you're allowed to have contact with other men, even if it makes me a little jealous. But I think I can deal with that. The most important thing is that you feel happy."
After an emotionally difficult conversation, we had sex and fell asleep on the sofa straight afterwards. During the night, we were woken up by Mara's beeping insulin pump, which was attached to her stomach. This prompted us to move our sleep to the bed, where we slept soundly until nine o'clock.
At the dining table, Mara pointed to a gray cloth bag lying on a chair.
"That's your birthday present."
"Oh, thank you! I'll open it on my birthday," I thanked him and took the present in my hand.
"You'll love it," she commented as I packed the present into my rucksack. I gave her a kiss.
After breakfast, at around eleven o'clock, she accompanied me to the train station.
"Have fun tomorrow at the Campus Festival," I wished her as we said goodbye.
"Thank you! Are you actually looking forward to seeing Jule again in three days' time?"
"Yes, I'm looking forward to it! I'm especially looking forward to us moving in together. I'm just worried about your feelings. I definitely don't want to hurt you."
"It won't be easy, I can tell," she commented thoughtfully.
We hugged and I gave her one last kiss before I left. As I kept looking back on my way to the platform, Mara was still standing by the stairs, looking in my direction and waving at me. At that moment, I didn't know that it would be our last meeting.
What I have learned from this stage of my life:
- It is not enough to discuss relationship problems regularly; you also have to solve them.
- If I do good (for example, donate money) and have a lot of people watching me, I can set off a chain reaction of good deeds.
- Instead of throwing away expired food immediately, I should check whether it is still good. Most of the time they still are.
- Most people only choose the most beautiful and freshest fruit and vegetables from the supermarket shelves. I should be a role model and choose food that is less beautiful or less fresh and save it from going to waste.
- I prefer second-hand products to new ones in order to counteract the throwaway society and promote the circular economy.
- When I'm in love, I should be careful not to make irrational and rash decisions. In this hormone-ridden state, I'm very susceptible to this.
- I don't necessarily have to climax during sex. I shouldn't put myself under pressure.
- When I'm emotionally upset, it helps me to go out into nature and let it comfort me.
- Veganism is about minimizing the suffering of all species. Achieving zero suffering is, as a physicist would say, only an ideal case.
