I dream a lot. Sleeping on the carpet. Light pollution and fear of the dark. Thoughts about Mohammed.

October 16, 2024.

It’s 2:12 AM. A woman drove me around in a car and dropped me off at Leibniz University near Georgengarten. Unfortunately, I forgot what we talked about. As I got out, she showed me a photo. I told her the man in the picture looked like an old classmate of mine. She laughed when I said his name was Nico.

At Georgengarten in Hanover, many people were sitting on the lawn next to me. A group of women sat very close by. I got up and left but forgot my backpack there. I went back, not by walking, but by climbing trees like Tarzan to impress the women. They looked amazed.

I was in bed with my sister (who was still a teenager). We were hiding because we knew we were in enemy territory and needed to escape. I took her by the hand, and we ran through long corridors, following the escape route. When we realized someone was coming toward us, we hid in a room with a bed. We slipped under the blanket, lying as flat as possible, as if no one was under there. I told my sister to know we had to flee when I twitched my foot. But instead, she whispered loudly and moved around, which led to us being discovered by a woman.

We followed the exit signs, going down level after level in a very modern, spacious, and bright location, like a huge shopping mall. Once at the bottom, we wanted to leave the building, but we couldn’t. Guards with modern weapons were stationed everywhere, shooting ice at our feet, freezing us in place for a while.

From another perspective on the futuristic, walled-off castle: On a small ship cornered by a patrol boat from the castle, the crew was forced into desperate action. Trapped in a dead end, they decided to attack the castle. They fired at a gray metal wall, but only two small holes appeared, barely making a dent.

Then, intriguing, human-like, three-meter-tall creatures with extraordinary abilities appeared. A woman from this group sealed the holes in the metal wall with magic. Another man was tasked with punishing the people on the ship. Behind them stood a king and queen, watching the events unfold.

It’s 6:39 AM. I was driving a limousine, with an older man next to me and a woman in the back. The man told me he had been raped by his father. We drove to a wooded area where it must have happened. The two got out to look at the spot. From the forest, an older woman and a child approached. I said, “Guys, we have to go, someone’s coming toward us.” But they didn’t hear me. The older woman and the child sat in the backseat. The dream ended.

A tall brunette woman was walking along the pedestrian zone, while I sat beside her on a rolling chair, pushing myself forward with my feet. At a bus stop, I spoke to her, and while sitting, I touched the back of her knees. “Follow me,” I said. But instead, she went into the stairwell. I followed her, and she turned around, saying, “I’m sick.” I asked, “What illness do you have?” But before she could answer, another woman came down the stairs and looked at us. I recognized this woman; I had spoken to her before. The dream ended.

Hello there! These were my dreams last night. It’s almost 10:00 AM, and I’m preparing breakfast for Mama and myself. I stayed in Borsum yesterday and slept on the carpet. Sleeping on the carpet is noticeably harder than on my hard mattress at home. And it felt so good to sleep on a firm surface again. I feel like I’ve been massaged and slept really well. It was just a bit cold because Mama doesn’t have a proper blanket for me. So I slept in clothes with a thin blanket. But that wasn’t because of the hard floor, it was more because I felt cold on top. This experience reminds me of the time I slept on the yoga mat. Now I’m wondering if it was a good idea to buy a thick mattress, even though it’s hard, but maybe not as hard as the floor itself. What should I do? Should I go back to my old, hard sleeping place on the floor?

At DM in the Arneken Galerie, I found a mouthwash that stains the teeth and makes plaque visible. I will use it to try out different teeth-cleaning methods.

In the library, I discovered an interesting book about light pollution by Annette Krop-Benesch. While flipping through, I found some inspiring facts:

• A third of the light from public lighting is unnecessarily directed into the sky, wasting energy.
• Several billion birds are lured to their deaths by artificial light every year.
• Artificial light alters the metabolism and behavior of humans, animals, and plants.
• Regular exposure to artificial light increases the risk of cardiovascular diseases, obesity, depression, and cancer.
• When artificial lighting wasn’t widespread, people would go to bed at dusk and wake up with sunrise. Sleep was often interrupted around midnight for prayer, meditation, reflection, or socializing. Without artificial light, nighttime sleep was more polyphasic.
• The same color temperature does not result in the same wavelength spectrum. Moonlight has a color temperature of 4000 K. However, if I take a 4000 K LED lamp, the two lights appear the same, but moonlight has a continuous spectrum, while the LED lamp peaks in the blue wavelength range. Moonlight disturbs sleep less than an LED lamp of the same color temperature.
• Contrary to popular belief, crime rates do not rise at night. There are fewer traffic accidents, and emergency calls between 2 and 5 AM are lower than during the day.
• Unlike an alarm clock, our internal clock does not abruptly wake us up; it gradually deactivates the "repair mode" to shift the body to an activity mode.
• Lighting with less than 3000 K should be used, brightness should be reduced, and cold white bathroom lights should be avoided.
• Sunrise should not be blocked out with blinds (I always thought this intuitively), to allow for gradual waking.
• About two-thirds of animal species are nocturnal and rely on the light conditions of the night.
• There is a lunar cycle that affects how much light is cast on Earth. A 4000 K LED lighting creates a constant "full moon." The effects on wildlife are measurable.
• Light pollution is environmental pollution.
• Street lighting acts like a vacuum for insects and migratory birds. Each streetlamp attracts insects within a radius of about 25 meters. Instead of pollinating plants, they swarm around the lamps. The pollination rate at night decreases due to light pollution.
• Darkness is associated by many in the Western world with fear, crime, and the unknown. However, more light doesn’t mean more safety. On the contrary, strong contrasts between light and dark reduce safety (e.g., a lit forest path with a walking victim, while the dark forest remains unlit and invisible where someone could be lurking). Outdoor lighting tends to attract criminals, as houses can be better scouted from afar (I always thought this intuitively, too).

I was deeply engrossed in a book when a teenager approached me, ironically asking if I had shoes because his friend was bothered by my bare feet. I had to grin.

“Unfortunately, I can’t afford shoes,” I replied just as ironically.

“Oh, too bad,” he said, lowering his gaze.

“But I can cover them with my backpack,” I added, placing my bag on the other side of the table, blocking his friend’s view of my bare feet as he filmed me. I waved to the camera and continued reading.

I find it amazing how much I’ve grown mentally. I let verbal jabs roll off because I don’t perceive them as attacks—they don’t feel like attacks to me. This would have been unimaginable before! Back then, I would have felt hurt by the irony.

A bit later, an older man tried to leave the library through a locked door. I looked at the door and then at him. He approached me a little and asked if I could open the door with my magic powers. I spontaneously replied that my magic powers hadn’t fully developed yet. We both laughed.

By 3:00 PM, I had finished the entire book and took away some conclusions or questions from it:

• How will my sleep habits change if I don’t turn on the lights in the rooms at all? (Only my phone’s light is allowed.) Will I sleep better this way? Maybe polyphasically?
• Wouldn’t it make more sense to sleep in the kitchen, where I can experience the sunrise in the morning and wake up more in tune with nature?
• By not turning on the lights at home with open windows, I don’t attract insects inside, helping to reduce insect deaths.
• What if I had no fear of the dark at all? If I could easily walk through the apartment at night (e.g., to the bathroom) without being afraid of a demonic nun lurking around the corner?
• Use light only where it’s needed and as little as possible. The light should be directed downward, and the blue light component should be reduced.
• Experiment: Tonight, after 9:00 PM (my designated bedtime), I won’t turn on any lights in the apartment. With this, I aim to disrupt my natural melanin production less, reduce my fears of the dark, and attract fewer nocturnal insects inside.

After a short walk, I sat down at the Espresso House, had a mint tea, and continued reading Richard David Precht's book about love:

• There is no biological law that dictates what men and women must always do under all conditions.
• Many living beings reproduce asexually, meaning they are born through parthenogenesis, like Jesus.
• Gender identity, sex, and reproduction are three different things. Sex can serve reproduction, but it doesn't have to.
• Infatuation and love can be related to forming a bond, but not necessarily.
• For Charles Darwin, love was a moral trait that unfolds in humans. For women, love was a bridge between sex and morality.
• The bond between mother and child is typically much more reliable and stable than between a man and a woman. It’s no wonder we later seek a similar connection in romantic relationships.
• Humans are capable of loving people who are genetically distant from them. No other living being has as many sources of empathy and love as humans.

On the way home, I tried to view the passersby and their dogs as my children and the earth beneath me as my home. Not an easy task, but something tells me I need to try.

Around 8 PM, I lay down and listened to a podcast from RadioWissen about the Prophet Mohammed. At the age of 40, he had his first contact with God. He was a very decent and honest man. What he received from God on the Night of Destiny sounds very appealing: bringing peace, practicing tolerance and gentleness, and spreading justice in the world.

It was only when people laughed at him, when his few followers, like an old frail woman, were killed, and when he was banished from Mecca and threatened with death—only after this exclusion did he gradually transform into a man obsessed with power and revenge. He was so deeply hurt by this rejection that he became a military leader and fought the non-believers. The complete opposite of what he had received from God.

What happened to Mohammed (who was only human) happens to almost every person who is excluded, mocked, and not tolerated. That is why I say: welcome every person into the family—regardless of whether they are a murderer, an unbeliever, a National Socialist, a left-wing feminist, or a jihadist. Only in this way does the message of God, which Mohammed received from God and not from his hurt human mind, become true.

Today I am grateful:

• That I finished the entire book on light pollution and learned a lot.
• That I chose peppermint tea instead of coffee at the Espresso House.
• That I didn’t perceive the young man’s verbal attack as an attack at all.