I am an insecure-ambivalent type. A love letter for me. Bought my first car. Sold my kitchen.

November 17, 2024.

I learned thanks to Julia and her book that I am an insecure-ambivalent type (my ego to be precise, otherwise Eckhart Tolle will scold me). Parents of this relationship type often react contradictorily to the child's needs. (This is very true of the mother).

Julia drew me. Now I know what I look like. Basically, my face consists of hair, beard and nose.

This morning I wanted to get up quickly and “get away”. But then I received a love letter with beautiful self-drawn pictures. It made me cry with joy. Probably because such gestures make me realize that I am important to the person and that I can put aside my doubts as an insecure-ambivalent attachment type.

For a minimalist like me, disposing of memorabilia is the hardest part. Julia suggested burning the letter by the campfire with a good thought behind it.

I sat down in a café and let the time and new insights about us and myself sink in. I am amazed at how reflective we both are.

On the way home I discovered another car model that would be suitable for living in, namely the Dacia Logan.

I found a few Dacia Logans at home. One was 300 meters away from me and cost 2799 euros. I sent a message to the private seller. About 10 minutes later I get a call.

We arranged to meet straight away. I went over to Martin-Luther-Straße. The young salesman was already waiting for me outside. We went into the backyard and I inspected the red car. He showed me the car under the hood. The timing chain - whatever that is - had recently been changed. There were still summer tires on the car. The winter tires were in the back of the trunk. The car has already been deregistered. He started the car and stepped on the gas a few times. Then I sat in the driver's seat and looked around a bit - but not in the way I'd actually learned... rather superficially.

The inspection probably took 20 minutes and then I was convinced. I was able to negotiate 2500 euros. I trust the seller. He's only selling it because his wife can only drive an automatic.

I actually feel the same way. I'm a bit scared of driving a manual vehicle, after all I took the driving test on an automatic. Anyway, I'll manage it and learn!

I have decided to buy the vehicle.

He wanted 2500 euros in cash, so I went to the ATM and tried to withdraw the 2500 euros. It didn't work. I could only withdraw a maximum of €300. I called him and told him that.

He then picked me up in the car and showed me a trick on how it works. We drove to the main station. Then we first withdrew the €300, then took out the card. Then we withdrew another €300. We did this eight times until we reached €2400.

Then he drove me home. There were already two men at the door who wanted to pick up the kitchen. The three of them greeted each other in Arabic. Apparently they knew each other.

I had them dismantle the kitchen and in the next room I completed the purchase of the car. He gave me the vehicle documents and the car keys and explained to me, as a novice driver, how to register the car. First I need the EVB number from the car insurance company. And then I take the vehicle documents and the EVB number to the registration office, which is just around the corner. He has said that he will go with me tomorrow and help me register the car.

After I sold the kitchen to the two nice guys, I took out motor vehicle liability insurance online and received the EVB number directly by email. The insurance will cost me around €100 a month. That's a lot of money. But when I no longer have to pay for the apartment because I'm living in the car, these costs will be acceptable.

I can't sleep with excitement. I look at the car keys and still can't believe that I now own a car. I was awake until 2 a.m. and made a few small orders for the car: a vehicle registration cover, insulation mat for the floor, phone holder for the navigation system, a key housing because the unlock button is missing on the current one, privacy curtains that I will install directly behind the front seats and a cigarette lighter with USB-C adapter so that I can charge the phone in the car.

I am grateful today:

• For the fact that I received a wonderful love letter.
• For receiving a heart-warming email from Julia.
• For dismantling and collecting the kitchen.
• For daring to buy a car.

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