Alexander Fufaev
My name is Alexander FufaeV and here I write about:

September 21, 2023: I own 4 pairs of socks instead of 5. Bumble-Elena has ghosted me

September 21, 2023. After coffee in the cafeteria, I went to the fourth floor of the library and thought about removing Gitlab as an intermediary. This seemed important to me because my website would then be more independent of an external resource. It could happen at any time that Gitlab suddenly becomes chargeable and I would have to pay because the development of my website depends on this platform.

Around 5:20 PM, I was sitting in Café Kopi drinking a banana-oat milkshake. I had forty minutes until my date with Elena, whom I met on Bumble. I had prepared everything for our picnic: vegetable and fruit snacks, Toffifee, Jumpys, and BioZisch drinks. When I briefly checked Bumble to see if Elena had messaged me, I found that she had deleted her Bumble account. I was a bit surprised that she hadn't written to me. Nevertheless, I was optimistic that she would come to the date.

Shortly before 6 PM, I went to the Welfengarten and waited for her on a bench for a while. And the longer I waited, the more I wondered why I even used these dating apps. They seemed to be burdening my life even more.

Elena didn't show up. "She probably ghosted me," I thought. That disappointed me a little. But I pulled myself together and decided to spontaneously arrange a picnic with someone else. I approached a blonde woman who was walking in the Welfengarten and was on her way home. However, she was engaged. There weren't many people in the Welfengarten, and there was no one I found interesting.

I went home and treated myself to Jumpys with the BioZisch while watching a video about meditation. I learned that a wandering mind is always an unhappy mind, even if you're imagining positive things. Only in the here and now can I find true satisfaction. I also learned that experienced meditators have the ability to quickly focus on the now when a thought suddenly arises. So, meditation is not about maintaining a constant focus all the time but about refocusing a drifting mind as quickly as possible.

During a video break, I reduced the number of my hangers from 15 to 13 after reorganizing my clothes a bit, and I managed to hang all my socks on one hanger after sorting out a pair.

Then I watched a video about sleep and learned that you should wake up with sunlight to achieve a cortisol peak and synchronize the circadian clock with daylight. I moved my bed to the window to get enough sunlight in the morning.

Micro changes:
  1. I reduced the number of my sock pairs from 5 to 4.
  2. I reduced the number of my hangers from 15 to 13.