Alexander Fufaev
My name is Alexander FufaeV and here I write about:

September 22, 2023: Dating apps are not good for me. I have 10 hangers instead of 13 and a more compact clothes rail

September 22, 2023. I still have phlegm in my throat, but no more sore throat. It's 11:33 AM, and I'm sitting on the fourth floor of the library working on the backend of my website. Today, my telescopic wardrobe will arrive in the mail. It is completely without shelves.

After leaving the library, I assembled it, and thanks to its construction (socks can be hung on the screws), I was able to reduce the number of hangers from 13 to 10. While I was assembling it, a man from eBay Kleinanzeigen came by and took my old wardrobe with shelves. The new wardrobe is flexible in width and height as it is telescopic. You don't have to measure whether the wardrobe fits in the corner, and you don't need any tools to dismantle it. When I looked at my room afterwards, I thought: Now I am really able to move without outside help (especially without a car)!

When I briefly checked the dating app, I felt a sense of frustration because I had no matches. I lay down and stared at the ceiling: How successful have I been so far with this dating app that now frustrates me so much? So far, I have only met one woman through this app and had intimate contact with her - namely Katharina. Is it really worth the time and frustration to use this app? Isn't it better to simply approach women on the street and not leave it up to them to choose the most attractive man from the dating app?

I also feel that many women on this dating app are not really interested in genuine contacts but use these apps to distract themselves - a diversion from the usual distractions of Instagram, TikTok, and the like.

Other women (I'm thinking of Nicole) seem to sign up only to compensate for feelings of loneliness, lack, and self-worth. They seek the confirmation that someone likes them. They are not really interested in genuine contact because it quickly becomes "too much" for them. These women might be open to a bit of chatting and maybe even a date, but they are not seriously interested in a relationship.

The expectations of women on such dating apps are also too high. Most of the time, I get matches with women I wouldn't approach on the street, but out of desperation, out of fear of not getting any woman, I still write to them. And the worst thing about my behavior is: Every time I have a match, I get too involved in writing and fall in love with an illusion that never comes true. What did I do then, after the woman broke off our match? Whether in the tram, on the toilet, in the library, or in the canteen, I just kept swiping like a possessed zombie. I didn't set any standards; the main thing was to get matches to get a brief dopamine kick and then fall into the same illusion of a promising date again. Why am I doing all this? Am I stupid? As an average guy, I have no business on such dating apps anyway! I should rather go out and approach women in real life, just as I did back then with Andre.

These thoughts about dating apps and my behavior there led me to delete my Life Time Premium account and uninstall the dating app.

Instead of the dating app, I then distracted myself with YouTube videos. I watched a discussion about cancer and ways to reduce the risk of cancer. An interesting thought occurred to me: Medicine is getting better and better. If medicine gets better, it can heal people who have cancer. These people, who are actually doomed to die, will reproduce thanks to modern medicine and thus pass on the cancer genes. My conclusion: If medicine gets better, there will be more sick people.

Since I learned yesterday that you should not expose yourself to bright light before going to bed, I did this today during my bathroom visit. I thought: If I don't turn on the light and go to the bathroom in the dark or fill my water bottle, I simultaneously train my night vision and my acoustic perception. I have to listen carefully to whether I'm peeing off-target or not and whether the bottle is full or not. I can also train my peripheral vision, as the rods (100 million), which react to light, are concentrated on the sides and not in the center of the eye. Thus, I see better peripherally in the dark.

Micro changes:
  1. Reduced hangers from 13 to 10.
  2. Removed the old wardrobe with shelves and replaced it with a telescopic wardrobe that can be set up and taken down without tools and is much lighter.