24 December 2022: Mum knows now...
December 24, 2022. At half past two, I took the train to Borsum. Before that, I was at Backfactory and had a cappuccino with a cream cheese pretzel while reading "Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind" by Yuval Noah Harari. Jule had lent me the book when I met her at the karate course.
During the train journey, I was already thinking about what I could declutter next. On the digital level, everything seemed to be done, so after Christmas Eve, I wanted to focus on my material possessions.
In Harsum, my mom picked me up.
"Hello, Sash," she greeted me as I opened the car door.
"Hi, Mom. That's quite a big shopping," I remarked and climbed into the back seat, where I found a full shopping basket.
"I'm making Olivier today," Mom explained her extensive shopping with a Russian salad.
"Julien is also here today."
Julien was a new friend of my mother's whom I had only met once before. He was four years younger than me and worked as a chimney sweep.
"Oh, okay. Are Mascha and Tobi also here today?" I asked.
"No, they're with Rita and Thomas," she replied.
"How's university going?" she inquired.
"Good, although I'm progressing slowly with my master's thesis, but I'm making progress," I said. "At the moment, I'm quite involved with the topic of minimalism," I added.
"Minimalism? But you still have your furniture, right?" Mom joked.
"Of course. I'm not that radical," I laughed.
When we arrived in Borsum, I took the full, heavy shopping basket from the back seat into the apartment. Julien opened the door.
"Hello, Alex," Julien said and extended his hand.
"Hi Julien," I replied and shook his hand. He was a quiet guy, slightly taller than me, blond, and blue-eyed.
"So, were you out partying again?" he asked me with a grin.
"No, the girls can wait," I replied jokingly, "I'm currently dealing with other things," I continued.
At that moment, my phone vibrated. Although I thought I had turned off all notifications, I noticed that I had forgotten to disable WhatsApp notifications. It was a message from Jule: "Hello Sasha. I wish you a Merry Christmas with your family." I replied briefly and then turned off the WhatsApp notifications.
"Hello Lauri," I said, opening the door to my old room, where my sister was sitting at the dressing table, preparing for the techno event at 'Weltspiele'.
"Hey there," she replied, applying mascara.
"Are you going to another rave party?" I guessed, as my sister seemed to have reached an age where partying and smoking weed were quite popular nowadays.
"No, not this time. I'm going to Dad's. We're going to bake cookies," she replied, glancing at the vibrating phone on the table.
"Oh, okay," I replied, closing the door again.
Meanwhile, Julien was sitting on the sofa in the living room watching TV. My mom was busy in the kitchen.
"Mom?" I said as she sliced vegetarian sausage for Olivier.
"Yes?"
"I need to tell you something."
"I'm listening."
"Jule and I are no longer together," I said cautiously, expecting a strong reaction from my mother.
She stopped cutting and stared at me with a grin.
"Sash!" she exclaimed, as if she thought I was joking.
"It's really true! We're not together anymore," I explained seriously. Her grin faded.
"I told you so. Mara ruined everything," she turned back to slicing the sausage, clearly annoyed.
"No, Mom! It wasn't just Mara. I can tell you the whole story later at the table," I tried to explain.
"It's such a shame! You should have held on to her. You won't find a girl like Jule anywhere!" she exclaimed.
"It's over, Mom. I don't think we'll ever get back together. Besides, I feel much better as a single," I replied.
"At least stay in touch with her. Maybe you just need a break from each other," she suggested.
Later, I sat down with Julien and watched "Home Alone" with him. Mom set the table, which was now in her former bedroom. Lauri left, and the three of us remained.
During dinner and mulled wine, I told the whole story between Jule and me. I was surprised by my mother's reaction. I thought I knew her so well that I could predict her reaction, but I was completely wrong. She reacted calmly and understandingly.
After dinner, in the afternoon, Julien took me to the train station in Harsum, and I began my journey home. During the ride, I already jotted down many new ideas about minimalism that I wanted to implement next.
One idea I immediately put into action was when I was at Rossmann. I bought a 2-in-1 shower gel, which allowed me to wash both my body and hair. This way, I no longer needed separate products for my body and hair, saving me from using an additional plastic container.
The most radical idea was to give up using moisturizer. After showering, I always struggled with dry hands and face, and I regularly had to apply moisturizer to get rid of the uncomfortable tight feeling. When I searched for experiences from people who stopped using moisturizer, many reported that they had overcome their dependence on moisturizer, the compulsion to moisturize dry skin, after just a few months.
So, I embarked on an experiment and completely stopped using moisturizer for a month. At the beginning, I moistened my hands and face with water to alleviate the tight feeling.
After just one month, not only will I have overcome the urge to moisturize, but my hands will also no longer feel dry after showering. I decided to permanently ditch the moisturizer.
In the evening, I went to the newly renovated Dax-Club. Several people approached me, including some girls who invited me to dance. However, I didn't feel like it because I was already tired from dancing. I could have danced some more, but for some reason, I hesitated to approach them. I actually wished to meet someone new tonight.
Marcel, a mechanical engineering student, approached me and asked if I had taken anything, saying that I looked smart. Like a physicist. His assumption was correct - about me being a physicist. We talked briefly, and I gave him my business card. He suggested giving it to his girlfriend instead. I hesitated, but he insisted that I should tell her that Marcel had given it to me. So, I did, and it worked.
Afterward, Marcel kept talking to me. He told me about his studies, but I wasn't really listening because it was loud. I just nodded. Actually, I wanted to continue dancing, especially when the song "Ferrari" came on. After that, I was full of energy again, even though I had a brief slump earlier when the end of the night approached and the two girls had already left.
On the dance floor, other girls called me over, but I waved from afar. Why didn't I seize the chance? The opportunity was there, but I was too cowardly. Instead, I asked for cigarettes using my mooching method.
Then I went to the dance floor and danced vigorously because I was excited about the prospect of meeting a pretty woman to whom I had given my business card. She was blonde and exactly my type. She didn't seem superficial at first glance. As I headed home, I looked forward to getting to know this girl. But of course, she would have to message me.
Learning: From my mother, I learned not to pay attention to the age difference between me and my friends or my partner, but rather to whether we are compatible or not.
Microchanges:
- I don't use any skincare products (e.g., moisturizers, oils, masks, etc.). Additionally, I inadvertently avoid plastic waste, save money, and eliminate my strong dependence (moisturizing).
- I replaced my shower gel and shampoo with a 2-in-1 shower gel that allows me to wash both my body and hair. This helps me avoid using an additional plastic container.