July 28, 2023: Match with Steffi and the frightened flower lady
July 28, 2023 Yesterday after karate I felt a strong desire for sex that was almost unbearable. Despite the difficulty in falling asleep, I was able to resist masturbating. To distract myself, I swiped around on Bumble and had a match with an Effi. She was a vegetarian, campaigned for environmental protection and, according to her description, was interested in "alternative living concepts". She seemed like a good match for me.
I imagined sex with various people I had met recently. With the dark-haired little woman from the Dax who had rubbed herself against me. With the tall blonde woman with a cute bottom from the canteen that I had seen yesterday. Or with the girl on Lilienstraße who I had seen yesterday in front of the window of a flower store as I passed by on the bus. I imagined walking up to the flower lady, sitting down next to her, taking off my glasses and looking deep into her eyes, leaning towards her and kissing her on the lips.
This fantasy was so real that I decided to walk past Lilienstraße today and bump into this girl. Sure enough, she was sitting on the bench in front of the Indigo flower store, taking out a cigarette while looking at her cell phone in her other hand. "Hmm, she's a smoking zombie," my motivation dropped a little, but I still wanted to recreate yesterday's fantasy.
I walked towards her, but she didn't notice me. When I was very close to her and could see her swiping her thumb back and forth on Tinder and I shouted "Hey", she was so startled that her cigarette fell out of her mouth. She looked at me with her eyes wide open as if I was a ghost.
"Can I sit down and have a smoke with you?" I said in a deep voice, which I had thanks to the warm water I had been sipping from my thermos until we met.
"No, no..." she stood up, completely upset, and quickly ran into the flower store.
"Um, okay?" I said in surprise to the empty bench she was sitting on, picked up the cigarette I had already lit, took a drag and went on into the library. There, while locking up my things, I realized that I had forgotten my semester ticket and couldn't lock up my things. I wasn't allowed to take them into the library, so I made my way home again.
As I passed Lilienstrasse on the bus, I saw the girl on the bench smoking again. I had never seen such a frightened person before. Her reaction was simply crass. In the past, I would have blamed myself and my day would have been ruined because I would have thought I wasn't good enough. She even ran away from me. Today I thought completely differently: it wasn't me, it was her. She was an anxious person and ran away. I didn't blame myself, but found the incident rather amusing.
When I actually found the semester ticket in my sports shorts, I headed back to university. I must have missed the bus at the bus stop outside. So I walked. The bus passed me just before Weidendamm.
"Shit... he must have been late...", I thought to myself. I saw him drive past me and stop behind the traffic lights at the Weidendamm stop two hundred meters in front of me.
"Well, never mind, I'll walk to the university then."
I could have reached him if I had run to the next stop as soon as I saw the bus pass me. I could have got him. But I had hesitated. "What if I hadn't reached him?" Then nothing would have actually happened, except that I would have stimulated my circulation.
The bus was still there. So I decided to take a chance and run to the bus stop. It was still there. I knocked on the front door. The bus driver opened the door for me.
"Good morning," he said to me, and I said "Thank you" to him. Then he drove off.
This incident reminded me once again of one thing: as soon as an opportunity for something arises, whether it's at work, dating or running after the bus, I should seize the chance immediately and not hesitate.
Learning: I should not only hesitate to approach a pretty woman, but also in any other situation where it is easy to hesitate.