I Let My Hair Grow Long. Ambulance. Offline Code Editors Deleted.

June 30, 2024. I woke up around 7 AM because Matilda started knocking on the balcony again. She was dirty from the soil and shivering. The bandage on her feet was already heavily soiled. My sleeping bag was on the floor and completely soaked.

“Where did you spend the night during the storm?” I asked.

“I slept under the balcony,” she said in a trembling voice.

It was painful to see her in that state.

“You need to go to the clinic. Damn it, otherwise you’ll end up dying if you keep living like this,” I said angrily.

“Can you please call an ambulance?” she asked in a dejected voice.

I got my phone and called an ambulance. To prevent Matilda from running away again, like she did yesterday when the ambulance came, I went outside and stayed next to her the whole time. She walked from the community garden to the street and sat down on the curb. I stood on the other side of the street and watched her from a distance. Even though I felt sorry for her and part of me wanted to hold her, another part was angry at her for inflicting this suffering on herself and simultaneously burdening my life.

About 15 minutes later, the ambulance finally arrived. The paramedic asked Matilda questions, and the paramedic asked me. I explained to her that Matilda had run away from the clinic and had slept the entire night under the balcony while it was storming. She urgently needs to go back to the psychiatric clinic, or her health will deteriorate dramatically. I explained to the paramedic that during a manic phase, Matilda perceives pain and physical discomfort less or at least ignores it more.

The paramedics brought Matilda along with her bag into the ambulance and closed the door behind them. I went home again. Mom and I were finally relieved that she at least wouldn't show up on or under the balcony today.

In preparation for transitioning from a laptop to a tablet, I deleted the offline LaTeX software from the laptop after breakfast and considered an online alternative, namely Overleaf, in case I want to write more physics books in LaTeX or update published books. I will probably write future books using Apple's Pages app.

The code files for the website (CSS, JS, and Twig) can be edited directly in the file manager of the backend. This solves the problem of not having VSCode on the tablet. I no longer need VSCode or any other code editors and have deleted them from the laptop.

As an alternative to Inkscape on the laptop, I could use the "Clip Studio Paint" app on the iPad. This allows me to draw vector graphics on the iPad.

In the afternoon, Matilda called me. She is back in the clinic. I was glad to hear that because she is being taken care of there and won't show up here on the balcony today. I told her that I would be looking for shared flats today and wouldn't have time, but I could come by tomorrow.

Mascha and Tobi were briefly here and brought fortune cookies. My fortune cookie had the saying: "You will soon be very proud of someone close to you." That made me think of three people: Mom, who is finishing her training, Matilda, who is finally going to the clinic, and Lena, who will successfully pass her oral exam. We chatted for a bit and then said goodbye because Mascha and Tobi are flying to Greece for vacation tomorrow.

In the evening, Mom said something that made me think.

“Long hair would look so good on you,” she said when I was sitting in the living room flipping through TV channels.

I went to the bathroom, looked closely in the mirror, and imagined what I would look like with long hair. Why not give it a try? I had never really had long hair, and maybe it would actually suit me.

Maybe long hair would also make my electric hair clipper unnecessary. I could simply trim long hair with scissors or shape it. If I also learn to properly groom my beard with scissors, without relying on an electric shaver, I could save a lot of weight in my backpack since I wouldn't need the electric machine anymore. Another electric device that I constantly have to charge would be gone. By switching from an electric hair clipper to scissors, my personal grooming would become more independent of the availability of electricity.

Another advantage of long hair would be that I would have to visit the hairdresser less often or maybe not at all.

As I looked at myself in the mirror and imagined what I would look like with long hair, I thought that it might make me look younger, which I wouldn't mind at all. Long hair would also make me more unique since most men have short hair. This would make me stand out more on the street and could become one of my identifying features.

In summer, long hair would provide natural UV protection, and in winter, it would keep my head warm. So, from today on, I will let my hair grow long.

I am grateful today:

• For Mom bringing up the idea of growing long hair.
• For Matilda being picked up by the ambulance.

• I no longer use offline code editors (like VSCode) but rather programmers directly in the cloud. This way, I can also code on the tablet. My life's work is not to program websites. I make small revisions to my website directly in the backend.
• I no longer compile LaTeX documents offline but online (e.g., with Overleaf). This way, I can write LaTeX books on the tablet. Future books will probably not be written in LaTeX but rather in Pages.app.