Don't be afraid of losing your phone. ChatGPT, Spotify, and Notes deleted. Scissors instead of electric trimmer. Living without a washing machine?

November 2, 2024.

Yesterday, before going to sleep, I listened to a podcast by Dieter Lange. He talked about the significance of one's first name and recommended finding out its meaning. Out of curiosity, I Googled the meaning of the name "Alexander." The name originates from ancient Greek and means "protector, defender of the people."

I don't know what that is supposed to mean for me. 🤔

It’s 2:47 AM. I dreamt of heights and how I overcame that fear in the dream by jumping from skyscrapers.

At 7:40 AM, I was finally awake. I was already bombarded with numerous accusations in a text message, claiming that I was responsible for mother's worries. She insists that I return, take the key, and "be there" as long as I don't have a job. That unsettled me. Just yesterday, she told me she accepted my life. Words are easy to say, but whether she really feels that way seems not to be the case.

I replied to her:

“I am NOT responsible for YOUR worries and feelings. Those are YOUR worries; YOU are responsible for them. Neither I nor others will change for you to be happy. YOU need to change if you want to feel better.

I care about you, but I will not change for other people, not even for you. It’s my life. I decide how I want to live it to be happy. If I live the way you want, then I am unhappy. Do I want to be unhappy?”

I have calmed down a bit inside again.

I gifted the book by Martin Wehrle, a black bowl, and a cup. So now I have four bowls and four cups instead of five. I find Martin Wehrle's book good from an ego perspective, and since I've already read it, I'm passing it on.

A few days ago, I noted the idea of not washing the clothes in the washing machine but in a small tub. I almost never use the washing machine, and when I do, it usually only has one or two items in it. That's pure waste of water and energy. Plus, I don't have many more items to put in. I only live with two T-shirts and two pairs of underwear. I don’t even have to wash socks because I don’t wear them. I would simply wash bed linens by hand in a tub (or even in the sink?) instead of using the washing machine.

I canceled the meeting with Julia to have time for myself; otherwise, the meeting would overwhelm me. I want to think about yesterday's incident calmly and find a solution for Mom so she doesn't suffer.

I'm sitting in a café. I no longer fear leaving the smartphone on the table when I go to the restroom. If someone were to take it, I haven't lost anything important; instead, I've given the person a gift, as now they have an iPhone 12 Mini that they don't need to crack to access. They can use it right away since it’s password-free.

I’ve gathered a whole A4 sheet full of ideas. One of the ideas I considered is to stop using AI to correct the grammar of the diary entries. Why?

• More authentic texts, since they won’t be corrected or rewritten by AI.
• One less step, as I can publish the texts directly instead of having AI review them first.
• Less digital dependency through digital decluttering: one account and one app less.

I also deleted the Spotify app and account and am now using the web version instead.

I’ve uninstalled the Notes app as well. This way, I avoid making notes while on the move, going from point A to point B. I should focus on the path ahead and not on the phone, or I might run into something.

On the way home, I bought a comb for 80 cents (unfortunately, there were no wooden combs available...).

Why did I buy a comb? I want to implement another idea: switching from an electric trimmer to scissors with a comb.

So, I will no longer trim the beard but will cut it with scissors and a comb. This means I won't be able to shorten the hair on the neck to 0.5 mm with an electric trimmer. I’ll just let it grow long there. I've never dared to do this in my life until now. But now I’m taking this step. I was inspired by Eckhart Tolle's book, specifically the chapter on identification with the body. Unfortunately, this step is a nightmare for mother, but for me, it has the following advantages:

• I am less dependent on electricity.
• I no longer have to constantly charge the trimmer.
• I don't have to keep trimming the neck to look better for others. What is currently in fashion or looks good might be outdated in the future.
• The backpack is lighter when I carry scissors and a comb instead of a bulky electric trimmer with a cord.
• If the high-quality trimmer breaks, I won’t have to buy a new one, which would cost 100 euros. A pair of scissors and a comb together cost only 5 euros.
• Disposing of a broken electric trimmer would generate much more waste (battery, plastic, and other electronics). Such a trimmer is significantly harder to recycle.

When I got home, I instinctively flicked the light switch as I entered the bathroom. The light didn’t turn on. Is it bad that the light isn’t there? No, not at all. Over time, this habit will diminish, and I won't need electric light anymore. It's unnecessary to turn on the light in the bathroom when it’s still bright outside.

I am grateful today for:

• Having the courage to let the hair on the neck grow, even if it means not looking like society expects me to.
• Having decluttered the digital life.
• Coming up with many ideas.

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